Anyone who has seriously committed themselves to or even dabbled with a spiritual practice knows that no amount of practice changes our experience of family during the holidays. Why is that? One of the great contributions of Western modernity to the understanding of self are the insights into the shadow. Freud was definitely mistaken on a few of his theoretical musings, but on the topic of shadow, he nailed it when he said, “Repressed drives and feelings are driven from consciousness, where they subconsciously shape your life."

This statement holds as true today as it did 100 years ago when it was first expressed. This understanding is an exclusive contribution of Western Modern psychology. It is precisely this understanding that is missing from the great wisdom traditions. This is why you can meditate, pray, bow or chant for decades, but as soon as you step over the threshold of your parents door to celebrate the holiday season, you internally begin kicking and screaming asking yourself, “Why did I do this again?”

The shadow—also known as psychodynamic repression or the disowned self—is when an individual literally splits off and dissociates some aspect of his or her I-ness. This aspect of self becomes unconscious and shows up in various inauthentic or shadow manifestations. The most common way that shadow elements emerge, in real time, is through projection. Projection is a psychological defense mechanism whereby one “projects” his or her own undesirable thoughts, motivations, desires, and/or feelings onto someone else.

The Integral approach has taken over 100 developmental models, East to West, premodern to postmodern and compiled the most comprehensive map of human development to date. From this, we understand that human beings grow and evolve through levels or stages of consciousness, transcending and including, negating and preserving each level into the higher reaches of development. See Figure 1. We also know that our growth and development can be arrested at any time, at any stage. One of the most common ways that our development can be sabotaged is by the shadow. As we grow vertically from archaic, to magic, to mythic, to rational, to pluralistic, to integral stages of development, we can either become fixed at any one of these stages, in part, due to our shadow qualities, or else, grow into higher stages of development with shadow baggage in tow. Neither of which is ideal for healthy growth and integration.

When we disown and project our motivations, feelings and traits they appear “outside” of us where they aggravate, irritate, disturb, obsess or upset us. Generally, the things that most aggravate and disturb us about others are in fact our own shadow traits. Although these are perceived “outside” of us, they actually inform our feelings and motivations, subconsciously shaping our behavior. This is why we get upset with things and only those things that are reflections of our own shadow. This does not mean that others do not posses the qualities that we happen to detest. I want to make this loud and clear. Sometimes an ass is really just an ass. But why does it bother me? Why does it consume my thoughts? Why does it affect me emotionally? Why do I find myself complaining about this person nonstop? Those around me agree that this person is an ass, but why aren’t they as activated, as charged as I am about this person? If the negative qualities of another person inform me, that is one thing. But if the negative qualities of another person infuriate, disturb, or disgust me, chances are I am dealing with some shadow issues. The shadow hijacks the self. The traits and qualities that we have disowned become our personal terrorists.

Another way to say this is that the shadow can be seen as anything that I am not willing to own in my 1st-person experience. “I am not angry." Instead I push it away or project it into the 2nd-person. “I am not angry, but you sure are." Or if it is so threatening to my sense of self that I need to push it further away, I project it into the 3rd-person. “There is a lot of anger in the world." These aspects of self that I push away are those that I deem intolerable, unpleasant, unattractive and troublesome.

There are a few reasons why it is beneficial to recognize and work with our shadow qualities. For one, we do not want to be out in the world projecting all over the place. It is similar to the reason babies wear diapers for instance. Another reason that it is critical to work with our shadow traits is to re-own and reintegrate the aspects of self that we have disowned. By reintegrating these aspects, we grow and evolve into healthier versions of who we already are. Lastly, and I think the most important reason to work with our shadow qualities is that it takes a lot of energy to keep aspects of ourself at bay. It takes an extraordinary amount of energy to hide from ourselves. The same amount of energy it takes to keep aspects of ourself hidden could potentially be the exact amount of energy it takes to grow from our current stage of development to the next. So an important reason to recognize and work with our shadow qualities is to continue to grow and evolve (if we so choose, of course). As I mentioned earlier, the shadow is the most common way that our growth and development can be sabotaged. We can become developmentally arrested at any stage of development due to our shadow traits. Our shadow can actually keep us at a particular stage of development precisely because we do not have the free energy and attention that is required to grow into the next higher stage.

In the coming months we will explore tools and practices, such as the 3-2-1 shadow practice, as well as others, that we can undertake, in order to look at and work with our shadow qualities. These shadow practices aim to reintegrate those parts of ourselves that we have disowned and projected onto others or out into the world. By reintegrating our shadow traits, we simultaneously free up energy that is now available to us to grow into higher stages of consciousness. In this article, I wanted to provide a brief overview of the shadow before we begin to engage in the practices of shadow.

In this video, Diane Musho Hamilton, Sensei, a teacher in the Zen tradition and one of our premier Integral Life Practice trainers shares with us her definition of shadow, what it looks like, how to spot it and how to work with it.